Texts From Last Night · HaleyPie's Favorites

HaleyPie's Favorites Texts:

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(802): View more from Vermont

She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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(802): She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there. http://tfl.nu/44mo

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(817): View more from Texas

she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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(817): she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it. http://tfl.nu/rt8c

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(708): View more from Illinois

He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.

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(708): He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS. http://tfl.nu/pf4u

Replies (58) Good night (14608) Bad night (1479) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

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(708): So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive. http://tfl.nu/w5b0

Replies (22) Good night (3091) Bad night (5617) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike

(303): View more from Colorado

you still have morals?

(443): View more from Maryland

Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole

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(443): its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike (303): you still have morals? (443): Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole http://tfl.nu/6ecs

Replies (46) Good night (9509) Bad night (1257)
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(443): View more from Maryland

His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake

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(443): His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake http://tfl.nu/rol0

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(206): View more from Washington

Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.

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(206): Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking. http://tfl.nu/kuj0

Replies (11) Good night (804) Bad night (4047)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

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(703): i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is http://tfl.nu/hhp3

Replies (55) Good night (4631) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

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(763): there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread. http://tfl.nu/qy40

Replies (35) Good night (1731) Bad night (8448) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.

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(817): he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him. http://tfl.nu/kyym

Replies (29) Good night (4195) Bad night (1450) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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(816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08

Replies (53) Good night (10536) Bad night (1474) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.

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(817): My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso. http://tfl.nu/obr6

Replies (11) Good night (1009) Bad night (5429) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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(678): I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night. http://tfl.nu/yws8

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(631): View more from New York

guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

(1-631): View more from New York

whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

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(631): guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple (1-631): whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread? http://tfl.nu/vnh0

Replies (31) Good night (4221) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
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(972): View more from Texas

You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

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(972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry" http://tfl.nu/fk1l

Replies (21) Good night (11344) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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(308): View more from Nebraska

I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.

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(308): I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose. http://tfl.nu/x4bb

Replies (38) Good night (1065) Bad night (8931) Order T-Shirt
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(769): View more from Mississippi

she said she likes her vagina punished

(1-769): View more from Mississippi

being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

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(769): she said she likes her vagina punished (1-769): being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough http://tfl.nu/ts79

Replies (35) Good night (1627) Bad night (6950) Order T-Shirt

HaleyPie's Favorites Texts:

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