He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.