Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize