370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.