he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off