Texts From Last Night · February, 2011

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Texts from February, 2011

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(217): View more from Illinois

I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

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(740): View more from Ohio

I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you

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(716): View more from New York

I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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(917): View more from New York City

i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."

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