Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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