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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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