He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.