sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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