Texts From Last Night · August, 2011

Texts from August, 2011

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.

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(717): We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt. http://tfl.nu/sjgj

Replies (11) Good night (1858) Bad night (828)
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(214): View more from Texas

Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?

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(214): Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up? http://tfl.nu/f130

Replies (9) Good night (3551) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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(903): View more from Texas

Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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(903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg

Replies (6) Good night (2863) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.

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(907): Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender. http://tfl.nu/w5e6

Replies (10) Good night (1033) Bad night (1672)
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(207): View more from Maine

I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined

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(207): I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined http://tfl.nu/df5k

Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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(+44): I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage. http://tfl.nu/0e7q

Replies (7) Good night (2677) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.

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(808): Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful. http://tfl.nu/6ueo

Replies (10) Good night (2304) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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(810): View more from Michigan

Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....

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(810): Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that..... http://tfl.nu/0b0j

Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (709)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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(502): She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't. http://tfl.nu/5w3y

Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (2312)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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(586): I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life. http://tfl.nu/7ulw

Replies (15) Good night (784) Bad night (2691)
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(716): View more from New York

i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.

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(716): i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man. http://tfl.nu/v8cz

Replies (6) Good night (1968) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.

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(214): There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/17ls

Replies (7) Good night (1507) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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(903): View more from Texas

He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.

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(903): He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan. http://tfl.nu/b8b3

Replies (3) Good night (1952) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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(631): using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here. http://tfl.nu/lsdl

Replies (5) Good night (1849) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.

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(402): Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week. http://tfl.nu/y6xg

Replies (15) Good night (3698) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt

Texts from August, 2011

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