i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring