I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Congratulations! We have a period
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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