I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing