i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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