just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.