There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.