me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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