I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest