Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dating After Heartbreak
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night