Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be