Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
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yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?