level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.