Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be