Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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