I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.