Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?