Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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