wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
