Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize