my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
