just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
