either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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