ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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