I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
