Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
