So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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