She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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