Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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