Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
