I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
