Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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