I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
