I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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