I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
