I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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