I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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