do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
