It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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