You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
