Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
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i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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