Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize