Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
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