thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize