Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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