that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
