If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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