'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
