Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
