He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
